During high school, I left a relationship. In this relationship, I had felt used, specifically for my body. After it ended, I only found satisfaction with self-esteem issues from the breakup by dressing more inappropriately than usual. This was most prevalent in my homecoming dress following the breakup where I switched from my many years of A-line, non-formfitting skirts to a very tight and high-slit skirt. I felt that the more of my body I showed the more he would notice me and realize what he had lost. The pattern continued every time I had the chance of him seeing me, which was sadly often since we went to school together.
The never-ending presentation of my body wore away my confidence. I had felt that everything I am was defined by what I was wearing and showing. I was allowing my looks to define me. It was as if the best features of my personality had not mattered like my patience and kindness, or all the accomplishments I had worked so hard to achieve for my future, like getting into my ideal college or early internship. They were nothing if my ex-boyfriend didn’t notice my ass in a pair of pants. All my inner worth was being decided by a person that just wanted to use me. I had let someone other than me control how I felt about myself. This other person was controlling my whole self-esteem.
Once I realized how wrong that was, I worked hard to stop myself from dressing for someone else and for other people to control how I feel about myself. As I was dressing one day, continuously reminding myself that I didn’t need to impress anyone, I came up with the idea for PhamNism, a clothing line that will remind you of your worth and greatness. It would have messages enhancing your self-esteem each time you saw it or knew the message was there. They could be interpreted in many different scenarios to help get through the worse times or be uplifting during the best times. They can even be helpful when they’re least expected.
So, from a bad experience came good. I found the philanthropic cause of the fashion line- self-love- I had always dreamed of having. I always had a passion for making people feel great about themselves and knew I could do that through clothes, but it wasn’t until this situation that showed me powerful messages could do the same. Feeling so low post-breakup, reminded me of the self-negativity many people encounter growing up, whether caused by bullying, societal standards, or events. Realizing the big problem in young people made me find how self-consciousness can lead to serious dilemmas like eating disorders, depression, suicide. Lack of confidence can also lead to problems professionally or socially that can hinder future opportunities or hurt and prevent relationships. Knowing these effects made me want PhamNism to help others find the love they need in themselves to feel their best and live life the best way possible, happy.
I am Nancy,
A Brave Babe
I love and accept myself.