At 35, I thought that I had realized everything. I had a family and held a position as General Manager for a large Multinational, but deep inside I knew that this wasn’t my purpose.
In 2001, I took a huge leap of faith – I told my boss that "I had other things to do" and emigrated from Europe to the mountains in West Canada. Skiing, mountain biking, running, hiking, kayaking and just enjoying the views from our deck were our daily activities. Life couldn’t get any better.
Then, in a short time span my dad died, my 5 year older brother died from a drug addiction, a friend died in a ski accident and finally my sweet mom whom I loved so much passed away. My life was literally falling apart. The people I loved so much were suddenly not there anymore and this left me with some gaping wounds.
One night, under a starry sky, something amazing happenend... I heard a voice: “Do I have a choice?” And an answer came: “Of course you do have a choice – Accept and try to embrace the pain”. I didn’t see myself as a spiritual person and this answer that seemed to come out of nowhere took me completely off guard. The reason that this was such an extraordinary experience is I took this advice very seriously.
In the next couple of days, this remarkable answer kept repeating itself in my mind and I was pondering how to accept and embrace, but no solution was being offered to me at this time.
Then I decided to let it go because the "trying" made me feel even more desperate. The moment I let it all go, was also the moment that I felt a growing connection with my heart. Suddenly I had no trouble accepting the pain I was feeling. The feeling was so intense. Slowly I understood that it was there for a reason! I began to have clarity: "There must be a higher purpose for this to happen to me,” I thought. That’s when I was able to embrace the pain and all of the emotions.
Then something beautiful happened… I saw a gorgeous bright light and I felt an infinite love deep down inside of me and I realized: "I am Love!" These dark events in my life are my gift and they are here to lift me higher than ever before. This is my healing!
I am Dirk.
I love & accept myself.